Aces Low
The deck is quite a chunk to ruffle,
With their aspect ratio all wrong –
They’re just too long.
But practice helps the dealer shuffle,
When they deal-out hands of eighteen-strong.
Tarot plays a bit like bridge –
The bidding starts, the tricks are played the same,
With points the aim.
But choosing trumps is sacrilege –
They never get to change from game to game.
The trouble is the cards we lay –
For even when they bear French suits – and mind,
They’re rare to find –
But still they’re full of bullshit on display
Just number them, and leave the rest behind !
I wish the trumps were double-ended –
That’ll teach the fortune-telling quacks,
Don’t touch our packs !
And to balance out the genders,
Can’t the knights become the dames to beat the jacks ?
But no, we can’t enjoy our whist,
Without our cards be saturated through
With putrid woo.
It doesn’t take a psychic twist
For the twenty-one of trumps to beat a two.
Rhyming Couplets 