Meepless

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Meepless

My cat is far too quiet,
She never says meow –
But how ?
Could it be her diet ?
Or a damaged vocal cord ?
Good lord !
The vet, though, couldn’t find a scar,
And said, that’s just how some cats are.

Some cat breeds are silent,
And barely raise a mew –
That’s true.
But her type is more violent,
In their caterwaul and purr –
Not her.
Are some cats less than dilettantes ?
Perhaps she’ll speak-up when she wants.

Does she seem okay ?
Is she maybe feeling glum ?
Thus shtum ?
And yet, she loves to play,
And content to sit for strokes,
Sans vokes.
There’s some cats love to growl and shriek,
But my cat never makes a squeak.

My cat is far too zen,
And she taunts me with her peace –
Please cease !
Cats should rule the den,
And should make their presence heard –
Unslurred !
But then, I’m such a talky chap,
I guess I more than fill the gap…

Day 27 – Dumb – #inktober #inktoberpoem #inktoberpoetry

Like a Rheinsteiner Kuhhirte

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Like a Rheinsteiner Kuhhirte

I like to imagine the German herders
Driving the buffalos (European buffalos)
Through the Mainthal slopes to Frankenfurter,
Or Burgenburg, or one of those,
On horseback, down the country lanes,
Avoiding the dorfs of the upper reaches,
As they camp each night on the lonely plain,
In red-check smocks and indigo breeches,
Through torrents of rain and insane heat,
Till at last they meet the mighty Rhine
At Fort Mainz, down the dusty Main Street,
With two hundred head of two-ton kine.
Of course, they’d need to emigrate first,
To the bauer-ranches of the brave Old West,
Through the ödland odd-lands, with a rye-schnapps thirst,
In Sankt-Franz City, or New Budapest.

Day 23 – Dapper – #inktober #inktoberpoem #inktoberpoetry

Hero Shrews

Etruscan shrew Die Su00e4ugthiere Abbildungen by bhl is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

Hero Shrews

These days, there are too many shrews,
And most aren’t even shrews at all –
They’re tree-shrews, or they’re otter shrews,
Or distant strangers who confuse,
And some are even elephants, but small.

But only OG shrews are true shrews –
None of these opossums out to steal
That early-mammal look that many lose,
But which, with dedication, a few choose
To keep pursuing, like the shrews for real.

These days, there are too many shrews,
And only one of them are fit for Kate –
They’re far more noble, paying dues
For meek imposters in their shoes,
Who we are all-too-ready to conflate.

Day 21 – Hero – #inktober #inktoberpoem #inktoberpoetry

Timid Roos

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Timid Roos

Tinamous are walking birds,
And less a flock and more a herd –
For they are nested in the clade
Of ratites, who are flightless-made.
They stalk the woods and grassy prairie
Like the unflown cassowary,
And we find great kinship here
With emu cousins, and the rhea.
And yet, the timorous still fly –
Although in truth they rarely try,
And much prefer to run away
That take to clumsy flight, they say.
So do they ever look around
At ratites, stranded on the ground,
To see how each evolved this trait
Quite independently of late ?,
And wonder if their future lies
In never taking to the skies…?
Or do they fear a coming trend
Where they grow fat and can’t ascend ?
It’s evolution pulls the strings
And robs the kiwi of its wings,
But also builds the ostrich tall –
Will tinamous yet hear the call ?

Day 18 – Flightless – #inktober #inktoberpoem #inktoberpoetry

Counting Rams

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Photo by Erwin Bosman on Pexels.com

Counting Rams

Sheep with horns are no solution
For insomniacs –
They come on twos or fives or eights,
And not in endless packs.
These bands of boys can cause confusion,
Wandered from the flock,
They’re hard to herd, and jump no gates,
And only bleat to mock.
So rams won’t, in conclusion,
Help you give your dreams a shake –
And if they’re rutting with their mates,
They’ll keep you wide awake !

Day 9 – Ram – #inktober #inktoberpoem #inktoberpoetry

A Noseful of Notice

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A Noseful of Notice

Mammals sweat – it’s our superpower,
But boy, does it make us pong !
Our glow is wafting, musk is humming
Ev’rything can smell us coming…
Mammals sweat – we’re a perfumed flower,
That likes to come-on strong –
We love to run our engines hot,
Yet keep our cool (an awful lot…)
Mammals sweat, but lizards cower,
Basking all day long –
They warm so slow, they barely blink,
But thinking quick will raise a stink.
Mammals sweat – unless we shower,
Then our whiff goes wrong –
But rest assured our nat’ral scent
Cannot be silenced, as we vent.

Day 8 – Stinky – #inktober #inktoberpoem #inktoberpoetry

Copycat

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Copycat

Hang on, you aren’t my cat…
You may be black,
But what is going on ?
I haven’t made my flat
A home and snack
To ev’ry random tom.
You may be in my kitchen,
But you won’t be in my heart –
So don’t you try your switching,
I can tell you all apart.
For my cat is a black, alright –
He’s not a white, he’s not a grey –
The blackest cat from out the pack,
And not some shady stray.
You may think you’re as pitch as night,
Enough to give old Poe a fright –
But don’t you bring your appetite in here,
Let’s make that clear !
Get back, I say, get back,
To your own mansion or your shack –
I will not suffer this attack
By any feline amateurs.
For sure, you look alike,
You’re an imposter out to syke –
But you had best get on your bike,
Because I’m not at home to purrs.
I’ve got the knack to crack your little skit,
You tacky counterfeit –
Don’t think your soft meows will work one bit !
So hit the garden, Jack !
For just because my own darn cat
So rarely stays at home with me –
Don’t think that you can fill his paws so easily.
Don’t think that I will pat you where you’re sat,
I can’t be having that !
Don’t kneed my mat or jump onto my knee.
Begone !  Don’t start to mew,
It’s time to shoo,
Your little joke is through.
So one more stroke, and then it’s out with you…

Jungle Familiar

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Jungle Familiar

“Here in the Amazon, expect to see creatures
So unlike anything you’ve seen back at home.”
So the tour-guide promised, in our cabins in the jungle,
That were concrete-free with no trace of styrofoam.

Twenty structures or so, I reckoned,
And only reached by the river – no roads.
With the sounds of the rainforest right on our doorstep,
With monkeys and parrots and cicadas and toads.

But…around the huts, some things were looking
Just a little too familiar – too much like Blighty,
Like dandelions, growing wherever they can –
I’m unure – should they abhor or delight me ?

I heard some chickens in a coop, and honey-bees –
And I’m willing to bet they’re the same damn species
As thrive in Britain, like the white-bloomed clover,
And the stands of reeds on the river’s beaches.

So, on our way here we passed through Manaus,
With its pigeons and its mallards and its sparrows and its rats.
Now, I didn’t see those out here in the jungle,
But I do see a peregrine falcon – fancy that !

And there goes the buzzing of a common house fly,
And there’s a daddy longlegs – and a cockroach on the roam.
And a cat to catch mice, and a dog to keep guard,
And the humans, of course.  We’ve some of those at home…

Go Up, Thou Bald-Head !

The Children Destroyed by Bears by Gustave Doré

Go Up, Thou Bald Head !

Why were the bears of Elisha called she-bears –
Don’t dwell on the mauling – but just why was that in their name ?
Did they refer to themselves as me-bears ?
Or hairy toupee-bears, to spare the poor prophet his shame ?
Or should we say ack-choo-lee, they must be sow-bears ?
But wouldn’t pigs furrow the Israelite’s double-deck brow ?
And these days, to play fair, should we call ’em they-bears ?
And not get so bald-faced or frowny on who’s Herr or Frau ?

Aero-Bats

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        Aero-Bats

Why can bats fly ?
And I don’t mean at all,
I mean still ?
Why have they never gone ostrich or penguin,
But never stopped flapping, so upwards-ascending,
Refusing to temper their skill ?
There’s plenty on islands without all the predators,
Plenty of time for their genes to face editors,
Yet, to their credit, their urge to grow lazy is nil.
Though perhaps that’s unfair on the dodos and fleas,
Who have repurposed bodies to new strategies –
So their airborne commitment to natural fitment,
Is not simply down to sheer will.
The pterosaurs never turned flightless either,
At least from the fossils we’ve found –
It seems that neither stuck to the ground.
I wonder if it’s all down to their puny legs,
Unlike the biped birds,
That stops them forming roaming herds,
Or burrowing into the hill ?
The membranes, though, of their wings attach
To their nether-limbs – is maybe a catch
To developing muscles down there with a kick ?
They just aren’t quick enough for the kill.
Though evolution is ever the tweaker –
The pika-pika can forage and scramble
With hardly a gamble or grounding or snafu –
While vampire bats, they can even run if they have to !,
Yet flying remains their thrill.
I guess it continues to work well enough,
So I guess they continue with flying and stuff,
And we all have our niches to fill.