Language Poems

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Language and names have always fascinated me. Go on, try a couple…they might not be as dry as you fear…

Contents

Grammar

Language in General

Names

Other Languages

Places

Poetry

        Poems about Grammar

Aardvaarks

Apoplexigraphy

…because “s/he” is unpronounceable

Book-Nosed Lukas

Capital Notion

Catphrases

Cattle Prattle

Cold Æsh

Deers

Diacritique

Drop the Tittles

Each Word is a Species

Fewer & Less

The First Emoji

For ‘Whom’, the Bell Tolls

Future Habitual

Ghoti

Glottal Stop

(G)nus

Grammar Schooling

Grammers & Spammers

Hogwash

Homonym

How Now, Tao Dao ?

Hybrid Vigour

I Before E

In the Nash’nal Int’rest

Jealousy & Envy

Just an Expërrement

Just-So Grammar

The Lack of the Circumfrex in the British Îles

Latin Plurals

Loopiter

Mockingbirds

Momma Tongue

Mongeese

Over-Sexed

Pissing on the Pedants

Propersome Grammar

Punctilagogaloquociatude

A Qroq of Qraiq

Second-Hand Words

Shelf-Life

Shipshape

Stoking the Peeves

Stowaways

The STRUT-SCHWA merger

Toxic

The TRAP-BATH split

An Unnecessaryness of Collective Nouns

Unparalleled Revival

Was, Not-Was

West Country R.P.

What ?  Dang !

Whenceforth

Who’da Thunk It ?

        Poems about Language in General

Adderbolts

The Bard & I

Belgian Lessons

Berlingo

Cranial Strainial

The Curse of the Couplets

Epeira

Flimsy were the Borogroves

Flinders

Frontispiece

Hazy Words

Headbanger

I Believe in ‘Yesterday’

In Reply to the Handwriting Appreciation Society

Insults are Written by the Winners

Journeyman

Lingua Inglese

Linguistic Schtick

Lousy with Names

A Masculine Rhyme

Maximum Maxims

Mic Check

Mongers

Monotongue

Neater by the Dozen

Omniphonics

One-and-a-Half

One Sheet to the Wind

Ping-Pong

A pyrrhic gift (3)

RAS Syndrome

Shipshape

Sonic Screwdriver

Trees in Threes

War of Words

        Poems about Names

All Life Is Here

Always Known As

Appellation Celebration

Beyond Uranus

Bigger Than Jesus

Boötes

The Boston Stomp

Dog Tags

Don’t be a Steve

Dropping Aitches

Epic Names

Eye-Ee-Shah

Farewell, Athelstan

Final Calling

Font-Fodder

Gods’ Breath

Good Name, Bad Name

Handle for a Han Girl

Hannah Without the Haitches

In Kate’able Hands

In the Name of the Lord

Hannah Without the Haitches

Jellyfishes

Just Another Joe

Kae-Tlihn

The Land of the Saints

Little Germany

Manifest Destiny

The Marks of our Being

Miss-World

The Moniker Mutations

Monikers

Mr & Ms

The Name Not Taken

The Name of the Wind

Naming the Serpents

Next-Jen

No-Nonsense Names

No Sinjun

Nom de Guerre

Nom d’Usage

Nomen-Couture

Nominative Determinism

A Nonny Mouse

Normanisation

Personal Names

Proctotryp

Rock Pocks

A Rose by Any Other Name but This

Smiths & Jonses

Sons of Milka

Sorry, Elizabeth

A Surge of Surnames Serving as Starters

Tartan Tarts

Tilly in Potentia

Twins I Have Known

A Unnecessaryness of Collective Nouns

Vanity

White Enchantress

        Poems about Other Languages

Aardvaarks

Across the Multi-Verse

Appellation Celebration

Belgian Lessons

Berlingo

The Boston Stomp

Englischer Waltzer

Eurovision Song

Farewell, Athelstan

Flinders

Habemus Poppycock

Handle for a Han Girl

Hannah Without the Haitches

Hierogryphs

Hogwash

How Now, Tao Dao ?

In Kate’able Hands

In the Name of the Lord

Insults are Written by the Winners

It’s all Greek to me

The Lack of the Circumfrex in the British Îles

Lingua Inglese

Little Germany

Monotongue

Nomen-Couture

Omniphonics

Over-Sexed

Raised Eyebrows, Wobbly Club

Rock Pocks

Russian Rush

Scharfes Ess

Second-Hand Words

Sonic Screwdriver

These are the Beasts upon the Earth

Transatlantic Cable 2 – Emigrants’ Song

Unter den Linden

Verses in Hades

        Poems about Places

The A300 Relief Road

All Chalk, No Cheese

Berlingo

Black Fives

The Boston Stomp

Brook Street Jam

Cattle Prattle

The Cester Slur

Christmas in the Desert

Dressed in the Raiments of Emperors

End of the Line

Et In Orcadia, Ego

The Frost Fairs

Gillingas

Gods’ Breath

The Groaning Trencher

Hannah Without the Haitches

Head up West and See the Lights

The Home of the Angels

Horseguards

Hotspots & Coldsores

Industrious Insects

It’s All Good Stuff

The Land of the Saints

London Pebble

Mercator’s Projection (A Requiem)

Musings on the Nature of Hadrian’s Wall

The Name of the Wind

Naymington-on-Poynte

Nonsense Avenue

Nothofagus antactica

The Only Lefty in Poundbury

Poundbury Pride & Ha’penny Hovels

Raised Eyebrows, Wobbly Club

RKO

Shires Old & New

Sluff

Snowfall in London

Sorry, Elizabeth

Talk Like a Pirate

Timid Tectons

Ultima Thule

Undone Town

Unter den Linden

        Poems about Poetry

A.I. Housman

Across the Multi-Verse

All The Letters I Can Write

Alphabet Soup

Archipelago

Calling All Stations

Circle Lines

The Click

Convergent Resonance

The Curse of the Couplets

Deep & Meaningless

Dry Rot

Epistophile

Epitaph

Et Ego in Ego

Eyebrow Stroking

Faffage in Five Acts

Fill Me

First Eight Lines of a Sonnet

The First Emoji

Footnote

Foreword & Forewarned

Fractured Metre

Gate-Keepers & Fate-Reapers

Graduation Poem

Hashtag You’re It

Heroic Verse

How to Recite Right

I’m a Poet, Not an Actor

In Reply to the Handwriting Appreciation Society

Index of First Lines

Ivory Garrets

Languid Curlicues

The Last Poem I’ll Ever Write

The Last of the Bards

Lost Quotations

Lurkers

Metres by the Foot

Middle-Class Decline

Mind the Gap

My Mind, She Runs

narrative conflict

Nashtiche

Necessary Narcissism

Night Shift

No Biography

Oh, this again…

The Old Poet to the Young

Oriental Droppings

Overwrought & Undercooked

Parallel Paragraphs

Part-Time Poet

“Poems don’t have to Rhyme”

Poesy Posers

The Poets’ Almagnac

Poet’s Corny

Poetic Truth

Poetry Briefing

The Poetry Competition of my Dreams

Poetry No Thanks

Proem to a Poem

Scanning the Last Word of Lines

Set My Verses Free !

Sex & Death

Self-Promotion

The Shape of the Pear

Soap Bubbles

Some Things Are Beyond Rhyming

The Spoils of Verse

State of the Art

Submissions Policy

Tell Me Four Times

Terminator Traitor

Thank You For Your Submission

Those Two Impostors

Through a Dark Glassly

Throw your Hands in the Air till it Cuts like a Knife

Transient Verses

Tuneless

Uncoupled

Unfinished

(untitled)

Unvolted

Vanity by Numbers

The Verse That Goes Like This

Verses in Hades

Versificator Regis

The Voice Speaks

Writers’ Block, Writers’ Block

Writing by Heart

You Know What I Mean ?

Z for Zen