Verbally Hyperbole
Ladies and gentlemen,
Merchants and rental-men,
Fully intended and coincidental men !
I beg your attendant attention, please:
With the greatest of ease,
And a bonnet of bees,
I lyric’ly soar from my verbal trapeze.
So all of you gathered
Are thoroughly slathered
With rather a lather of blather and blust;
An oral oration,
Unceasing cessation,
A nattering narrative blazing narration of patient duration and thrust.
No time for coasting, but making-the-mosting,
A magus contagious in outrageously boasting.
So versatile and so verse-o-phile,
So worthy and wily and worth-all-the-while:
Beguiling my styling, and fertile my smile,
Com‘pi‘led and di‘alled for rapid rapport;
For miles and miles behind and before,
Let all know my score,
Let all hear my roar !
Bacon and lentle-men,
Ladies and gentlemen,
All this, I am. Damn ! All this and more !
Not lesser, not guesser, not sesame seeds,
Not shy to express a finesse in my screeds,
The speeding line breeds and the reading stampedes;
Cascading and braiding and always exceeding,
I’m weighed-in and played-in and feeding the creeding.
I’m kissing the carpenters, dissing the harbingers,
Fishing sedition to sharpen my sparring-slurs,
Casting my catgut to catch me all-that, but
I’m reeling them squealing. It’s really annealing –
I’m not so unfeeling for wheeling in stealing;
I don’t need them bleeding to heed I’m succeeding,
I’m better at dealing appealing to healing,
And using my jam
To chamois the sham,
To dropping the whopping and stopping the spam.
Pouch and placental-men,
Ladies and gentlemen,
All this and more ! For all this, I am !
