“First name and last name,
That’s all I’ll call you,
No to initials or multiple-barrels,
No truck with nicknames,
Or maidens or middles,
Or unusual spellings and other apparels.
Just pick out a name that you wish to be called by,
And that I shall call you –
That and no other.
So don’t be contrived, or obscure, or untrue,
Though it need not be that which is used by your mother.
Now no lords or ladies, no highness or sir,
Just easy to spell out and easy to read.
And none of that senior, junior, third –
First name and last name, that’s all that you need.
I’ve no time for Bobs or for Bills or for Bazzas,
No time for Mollys or Maggies or Shazzas.
Our names should be sturdy and stately and great,
With every syllable pulling its weight.”