Mr and Ms
If ev’ry man’s a Mister,
Then ev’ry woman is a Miss.
Yes, even those in wedded bliss –
For single, married, we don’t care.
To ev’ry bro and sister,
We each have names, as is the norm –
Yet when we need the family form,
To speak it naked feels too bare –
So Mister and Miss are all we need
To speak to ev’ryone we meet –
For ev’ry face on ev’ry street
Is either Mister or a Miss.
I guess some egos have to feed –
But Baron, Father, Dame or Sir,
I couldn’t care what you prefer –
We each are only this.
Doctors, Captains, Highnesses,
And Justices and Reverends,
This snobby title-tattle ends,
So stick it up your upmanships.
We’re equals all, not more and less,
We’re Miss and Mister, first and last,
We’re colleagues of a single caste –
For life’s too short for sporting pips.
The title should of course be pronounced as ‘mister and miss’.