Stirred-Up Eagles
As an eagle fluttereth over her young, and beareth them on her wings.
Deuteronomy 32:11
Moses, clearly, doesn’t know
The first thing about a bird –
The very idea that they carry their kids on their backs
Is clearly absurd.
Now ducks will swim with their chicks up-top,
But no birds fly with the over-slung.
I mean, how would they even flap
And not dislodge their precious young ?
From the moment they are laid, they are watched –
For racoons and owls are swift.
And long before they’re fully fledged,
They’re far too heavy to lift.
They never leave the nest until they start to branch,
And not for long.
Until at last, they fly away, all by themselves,
When the urge is strong.
Moses, clearly, doesn’t know
The first thing about a bird –
A shame, for the metaphor of these loving parents
Should be heard.
And a basic grasp of aerodynamics
Would quickly scotch such a fantasy –
But above all, enjoy them for what they are,
And not what prophets would have them be.
The quote above has been elided to make it snappier, but its meaning hasn’t been changed. Some have tried to claim that the second half of the fully verse is talking only about Yahweh, and not about eagles – but if we squint hard enough to make this work out, it then becomes an appallingly bad piece of writing that changes the subject of its pronoun midway through. Perhaps this is more of a King James problem, as other translations separate the two clauses more clearly, but I guess that the Lord couldn’t be bothered to sufficiently inspire the Jacobean scribes. Either that, or the KJV is truly inerrant, and thus confirms that God is a women…
Rhyming Couplets 