Never thought I’d see the day – The morning clear and weakly bright, but there’s an early chill. Better get it underway. Who’d’ve thought a morning’s walk would take an act of will ?
I try to force a smile, I tell my over-polished shoes I never looked good in black. This is gonna take a while, But once the ending brings the end, at least I get to walk back.
It’s cold on the edge of town, As what goes up must all come down and down, And ruby, gold, and emerald will all blur into brown- And we are done.
There ought to be a lonely bell, But we have overrun. Our hollow words are meant so well, But numbness smothers sorrow.
There’s no warmth from the Sun, The moment’s gone, the race has run, And I guess that I’ll be moving on tomorrow.
My snaps are all insects On pavements and plants – I’ve nothing with humans, But dozens with ants – A phone-full of photos, A life at the lens, Where people are strangers And beetles are friends. I’m charting my neighbours Who live near my pad, And where six legs are better And two legs are bad – A pocket of pixels, A screen’s-worth of lights, To magnify midges And marvel at mites. Their silence attracts me, Their beauty astounds me – I don’t even notice The people around me. But people are easy, Not tiny and shy – They’re big and they’re messy, And can’t even fly.
These days, I let me wrists go naked, Unencumbered by the time – Shaking loose the shackles of knowing Of just how fast the seconds are going. I no more have to stress if I’ll make it, I no more have to hear it chime.
There are dozens of other clocks to choose On walls and screens and towers – So why must I also carry it round, And see that it’s hands are tightly wound ?, When we spend our lives in constant news, Surrounded by the hours.
All my follows, all my views, my likes, They’re all just algorithm – All the comments, all the spikes, Owe nothing to my hand-worked vision. They would surely come and visit me, Regardless what I said – My passion and my repartee Forever lie unread.
I swear, it’s only bots I’ve got, And how can they be moved, be shocked, Be made to smile ? I’m big, it seems, in binaries, I tick their boxes, hash their keys – But then, why must the clones be blocked, With their lack of snark and bile.
And yes…and yes, I know they don’t mean bad, (They don’t mean anything at all), And yet…they’re only clogging-up this sad And lonely monologue to an ever-empty hall. But sometimes…from the corners of my eyes I only see their avatars, And I can tell myself “don’t get too wise – Just marvel in how many fans there are”.
To the few of you real people, thank you so much for your support over the last three years ! Now don’t be shy, come on in and have a chat…
Vendor 1 Spring is finally here To brighten the year, Bringing birds on the wing. Spring has finally smiled, Like a favourite child, And it’s making me sing.
Vendors 2 & 3 Yes it’s finally here, The buds are in gear To end Wintertime’s sting.
Vendor 1 The sun is shining for me, And ev’rybody I see,
Vendors 1, 2 & 3 And it’s making us sing.
Punter enters. He doesn’t sing.
Punter Morning. Copy of the Times and a packet of Polos please.
Vendor 1 Now come on buddy, Let’s hear some sunshine outta you. Now don’t be shy, Just sing me one line, why don’t you ?
Punter Well, you’re certainly cheerful this morning.
Vendors 2 & 3 Now come on buddy, Don’t give an earful, that won’t do. Just sing up buddy, If we’re so cheerful, why ain’t you ?
Punter You guys as well ? Seems everyone’s singing today.
Vendor 1 Ev’ryone except…
Vendors 2 & 3 Mr Misery, ole Mr Misery
Vendor 1 He ain’t got a note of joy to spread.
Vendors 2 & 3 No sir, no sir no way.
Vendor Best stay away from….
Vendors 2 & 3 Mr Misery, he’s got no fizz, you see.
Vendor 1 Wish he’d rain on someone else instead.
Punter Hey come on, I just want a Times and some Polos.
Vendor 1 You don’t get nothing in this life, Unless you gonna sing for it.
Vendors 2 & 3 Doo-wop-doo-wop.
Vendor 1 Said you don’t get nothing in this life, Unless you gonna sing for it.
Vendors 2 & 3 Doo-wop-doo-wop-a-lop-a-doo.
Punter Seriously ?
Vendor 1 If you wanna get something in this life, Then let me hear you sing for it.
Punter Alright !
The Punter sings really badly.
Punter Please may I have a copy of the Times And some Polos…um…and a pound of limes ?
The Vendors clutch their heads in pain. The Punter backs off, embarrassed.
A News Reporter appears on the scene with a microphone.
News Reporter Yes, it’s another cruel case of discrimination against the tone deaf by musical theatre. Reporting for the BBC, this is… (singing) Pheobe Leigh !
People love to grumble over supermarket bread – “It isn’t really fresh, you know” I’ve often heard it said, “It’s made in batch in Swindon and then frozen” they explain, “So all they do in bakeries is heat it up again.” Croissant, bap, or pumpernickel, Loaf-lovers sure are fickle – Kneeded crumpets, seeded squabblers, Talking sourdough and cobblers.
You know, that doesn’t bother me, as long as they still taste – And oh!, the smell of toasted carbs will never go to waste. But why are still-warm loaves just plonked on open racks for show In the air-conditioned hell that sucks all moisture from the dough ? Cardboard slices, leaden grain, With all self-raising turned to plain. Golden crust and pain-au-choc, As dry as dust and hard as rock.
1. At least with patrons David and Patrick, They visited the lands which went on to claim them – But George and Andrew are strangers to Albion, (We had local talent, but no-one can name them). I bet they never heard of us, we’re just hicks from the sticks – They’re busy being famous, they won’t return our call. To patronising saints, we’re just fanboys with a crucifix – Mini-me Man-U supporters, posters on the wall.
2. But then, what does it matter anyway ? Especially for England, Especially on George’s Day. The red and the white are only for fascists – The Guardian insists, And the bleeding hearts will wail – The flag is now the possession of the Mail. Haven’t you heard ? Patriotism is a very dirty word. The only time, the only time That national pride can still be shown Is during the World Cup alone. And when they lose, that very day, The flags must all be put away And never more be flown.
3. Ah, perhaps I’m being too hard, But still the Left can’t lose the twinge To see their homeland as only bland and scarred. They never can relax their guard, Or shake the shame and cultural cringe – They love the stranger, hate their own back yard. And yes, I know the old old stories – Slaves and Empire, toffs and Tories – Nobody’s disputing – But still there’s Newton, Attlee, and the Bard ! So all the more the need, I say, To set aside a National Day ! Forget old Georgie – let’s be cannier, Make ourselves a Saint Britannia – She can be our national birthday card !
Why are there so many zombies on our screens these days ? I’d say that they are testament to our improving ways. We’ve beaten violence, beggared hunger, massacred disease, And quarantined our lust for gore into our PG fantasies – Safely evil, nicely ugly, non-stain blood in quick-rip veins, Just round ’em up and mow ’em down in corporate campaigns. Mumbling, lurching, fodder-johnnies, Out-of-towners, dirty commies – Revel in some mindless fun before they eat our brains.
Queasy over blaming Mongols for their famous hordes ? Then let’s recast with green-skinned orks to quench our thirsty swords. Coldly-logic androids cause no controversial mess When we crush their next uprising – show no mercy for the merciless ! Shoot a Nazi, gas a pedo – harmless japes for kids to play, Just regulation bogeymen without the shades of grey. Squash pedestrians with trolleys, No need to feel even sorry, Killing humans sure is fun when there’s no guilt to pay !
April – Month of Aphrodite, Flirting with fertility. The earth responds to her almighty, Springing with virility. Tributes thrust from out the ground With kinaesthetic keenness, As bulbs are bursting, bound by bound, To hail the month of Venus.
Easter was a goddess too, And once she wooed the blooms aloft – She called them up, and up they grew, Her sun was warm, her rain was soft. Forget the death her name evokes, Forget the manly, fabled sin. Let’s open blinds and loosen cloaks To let her April in.
Rhyming Couplets 