Round and round we orbit As the days grow short and chill. But we’ve turned the Winter’s corner, And we’ve started up the hill. We’re close to perihelion, The Cold Moon lights the frost, And the dawn is a chameleon Once Solstice has been crossed.
One Is the circle and Two Is the line and Three Is the trilith and Four Is the sign. The planets and skies Are alive with their play, As the new Sun shall rise On the shortest-long day.
So gather round the sarsens, As we welcome back the Sun, While the druids and the parsons Offer tales on why we’ve spun. We’re close to Heaven’s hinter, As the Dog Star watches over, So let’s raise a toast to Winter And the sleeping of the clover.
One Is the Sun and Two Is the Moon and Three Is the midnight and Four Is the noon. The planets and wives Are all dancing away, Yet the dawn still arrives On the shortest-long day.
I’ve always been disappointed with Stonehenge, in the same way that I’m disappointed with a ruined castle – forever second-rate compared with the grandeur it once possessed. With Stonehenge, we really need to build a new one nearby to show it at its best.
Keep eyes on me, I’m going places, Just you see, I’m leaving traces. Mine is one of those faces That keeps popping into view – Who knows where next it graces, But it sure looks somewhere new. So you’ll be seeing me around, Up and down about the town, Floating in a gown, Or running to the races. And if I’ve got you aching In anticipation – don’t get fraught – It’s simply means it’s taking Just a little longer than I thought.
Here comes fame And due attention – Remember my flame, It’s getting a mention. Mine is a claim in ascension, On your lips without your knowing. It’s a name of my own invention, And its eloquence keeps on growing. So you’ll be hearing it around, Standing-out and upwards-bound, Singing-out its sound, In highly-strung suspension. And if I leave you breaking, In exasperation – don’t just mope – It’s simply means it’s taking Just a little longer than I’d hope.
The curtain’s hanging over us, This is our final scene. We hope our lines are close enough And energies still keen. We’ve just the time for one last turn Before we take our bows – For any encores that we earn, And management allows.
The future’s big in front of us, It starts tomorrow-dawn, And so, for all we grunt and cuss, Our brand-new lives are born. We’ve barely time to learn our parts Before we take our chance, And who knows where the future charts ? It’s one long song-and-dance.
What on Earth to do today ? Bake a cake or fill a pew ? The night is sweet, but far away – We ought to sleep, we ought to play. We’ve been to ev’ry cabaret – That’s why we’re feeling blue.
If things don’t change, I swear, Then I’ll snarl and scream and sob. I’m lost and going spare, And all my corn is off the cob. It’s more than anyone can bear, My head is in a throb.
What on Earth to do today ? To read a book or tour the zoo ? The Sun is out, the prospect grey – We ought to go, we ought to stay. We’ve done it all, and never pay – There must be something new.
If things don’t change, I swear, If we don’t quit the usual mob, Then I’ll start a love affair With a Cleetus or Jim-Bob Anything, I just don’t care – I’ll even get a job !
When I was nine, they told me, I would marry, Some day, long away. I wondered who she’d be, Whom I would marry – Would I get a say ? I knew I’d have to wait, And so I waited – But was led astray. I thought my future fate Was overrated – I would rather play.
When I was seventeen, I learned That I could marry There and then. I was of age, the right was earned, To marry Sue or Imogen. Not that I knew of Sue, Or Jane, or Kate, Or any girl like that – I had exams to do, They’d have to wait, I hadn’t time to chat.
When I was twenty-two, I felt No hurry, I had long enough – I played my hand as dealt, With not a worry ’Bout that marriage stuff. I never doubted I Would still succumb To walking down the aisle. But not today, I’d sigh, Though not so glum – Best put it off a while.
When I was thirty-three, my oldest friend Got married Out the blue. I wondered if this were my end ?, And tarried On the best man’s pew. Should I be busy scouting out A wife ?, Had I now come to this ? Was I now forced, despite my pout, To share my life With wedded bliss ?
When I was forty-four, And still not married, I was short of time… I could delay no more, For all I parried, Burning through my prime. I had to face the fact It’s now or never – I was flabbergasted ! Had to get my act Quick up-together, While the music lasted…
But now I’m fifty-five, And still unmarried, Yet am quite content – I found that I can thrive When left unharried By the Big Event. No more anticipating To propose, And life is no less good. I am no longer waiting – But who knows, One day, I guess I could…
Geological Time Spiral by Joseph Graham, William Newman, & John Stacy
Counting Forwards
Imagine, if we like, To the Earth when it was younger – Let’s go back in our minds As Rodinia accretes and binds. Imagine all the life, With its breeding and its hunger, Is all within the ocean wide, While all the land is dead and dried. Go on back a billion years To when the Tonian began, And the first alga brave appears In the inter-tidal span. And let’s call this Year Thousand in our plan.
Now imagine, if you like, A thousand million later – To Britain, as it will become, Through evolution’s endless sum. Let’s use the past to take a hike, To be our ad-hoc dater – With ev’ry year that we explore That’s adding-on a million more. Ready ? Well then, come with me ! To Year One Thousand, long before, When Vinland Vikings rule the sea And early green specs dot the shore – And let’s see history expand once more.
1000-1280 The Tonian is a long old stretch, From Ethelred to Longshanks. We’re not sure when things happened quite, So none of these are strong ranks, But sponges would appear to appear Around the Fourth Crusade, Just as we leave the Dark Age, As the Boring Billion fade.
1280-1365 The Cryogenian grows cold, As the mediaeval warmth recedes – The plague upsets the status quo, As animals succeed. The monks and fossils leave their records, (Fewer than we’d wish), As peasants rise-up, and the jellies – Both the combs and fish.
1365-1460 The Ediacaran, through the Hundred Years War, Is a pregnant time. The Agincourt slaughter sees new forms of life Are on the climb. We’ve so little idea what, Though likely all the phyla we know Are going their separate ways back then, As the trade and prosperity grow.
1460-1515 Bang ! The War of the Cambrian Roses And Henry Tudor the Trilobite. Bosworth Field is awash with early fish, As eyes first see the light. Predators prey, so the shell evolves, And the codpiece probes the way to dress – And we know so much of those olden times Because of the Burgess printing press.
1515-1555 The Ordovician sweeps the monks away And ends in the great divorce – The Little Ice Age causes mass extinction, Though with a patchy force. Most of the phyla shrug it off, As do the merchants of the day, While plants colonise a whole new world of land, Down Mexico way.
1555-1580 The Elizabethan Silurian Sees vascular plants grow bodice and ruff, While armoured fish develop jaws As Catholics have it tough. The millipedes creep onto shore While Mary Queen of Scots must flee, And Francis Drake sails round the world, While scorpions swarm the sea.
1580-1640 Awaiting the tetrapod armada in Plymouth, Comes the Devonian span – Sharks and ammonites emerge In the Tempest of Caliban. King James writes his Bible On the wood of the early trees, Till the Civil War extinction Brings the shallows to their knees.
1640-1700 With the Carboniferous Restoration, Amphibeans arrive. There’s giant dragonflies in the endless forests, Where spiders thrive. They lay-down future coal, of course, As London is aflame – Till the Glorious Revolution, When the reptiles change the game.
1700-1750 The Permian now joins Pangaea With the Hannoverian line – Dimetrodon and future-mammals Have their chance to shine. But from the North, a Great Dying Sweeps them from their heights – The lava traps of Siberia, And the pikes of the Jacobites.
1750-1800 The Triassic sees a trident of firsts – Pterasaurs, crocomorphs, dinosaurs. The sea’s full of plessies and ichthies and turtles, An empire stretching to distant shores. But American lizards break away From rule they call draconian, And a great extinction’s coming-in That’s all thanks to Napoleon.
1800-1855 The Regency brings us the Jurassic, Victoria sees placentas get birthed, While the Chartists challenge the old big beasts, As the sauropods shake the earth. The allosaurs fight stegosaurs, While archaeopteryx soar above Of the Valley of Death as India splits, On their way to becoming a dove.
1855-1935 The Cretaceous next, but where to start ? Pangea well-and-truly splits, While flowers bloom for Victoria’s weeds, And spinosaurs are Edwardian hits. Veloceraptors perish in the Depression, But T-Rex jazzes the town With Triceratops to the very end, When the asteroid comes crashing down.
1935-2000+ Into the Cenozoic we go, As the atom bomb sees things get hot. Mammals and birds diversify, As hippy grasses grab their shot. Hominids climb down from the trees As Tony Blair brings-down the freeze – Then Christmas Day in ’99 Sees farmers plant communities.
Imagine, if we like, Where our journey goes from here – What might the next long thousand bring To life that’s ever-quickening ? And when extinctions strike, Then new forms suddenly appear. History shows progress all the while, Though fashions change the style. But here, for now, our trek is done, We’ve counted up the years we hold, From an Anglo-Saxon simple son To multi-cultured forms so bold. They tell the greatest story ever told.
Happy birthday ! Yes, it’s true, Rhyming Couplets is turning six, so here’s a special treat for anyone who’s still out there.
Similar to my championing of the Holocene Calendar, I hate counting backwards, and can’t wrap my head around the numbers. Therefore I propose the Paleontology Calendar, which can either begin at 0 (equal to 2,000 MYA) when the Great Oxydation Event was coming to an end, or at 1,000 MYA when the first algae was colonising the land. The latter is more useful, as it results in three-digit numbers rather than four, as we don’t have much evidence for what happened prior to the Ediacaran fauna emerging (they’re not called the Boring Billion for nothing…) However, I’ve adopted the former here so that the dates can line up with European history to make conceptualiseing the events easier, at least for me. By happy coincidence, 1000 MYA is also when Bicellum first appears, which might just be the earliest evidence we have of animals evolving away from algae…
Note that all dates prior to the Cambrian are tentative and likely to change in the future. Just when the animal phylums diverged is unclear as there are very few fossils, and rely on DNA analysis and molecular clocks. Furthermore, the current estimated dates may be a few years different from their historical counterparts for the sake convenience (for example, some think that algae first poked its head out of the water as early as 1200 MYA). Come on, this is a poem, not a textbook !
Turmeric and ginger, Cumin, mustard, mace, Red-hot chilli peppers, With cardamom to taste, Cinnamon, paprika, And nutmeg makes it sweet, White pepper, black pepper, Turning up the heat.
Rhyming Couplets 