Lazy, far too lazy, far too idle, Don’t ask me. Far too needful of relaxing, Far too dodgeful of all taxing Action that disrupts my lethargy. I don’t run when I can sidle, I make sloths look suicidal, Vegetate with pride – So don’t ask me.
And if I ask, she might commence To stroll with me upon the croft, And though I know she’s happy hence To never cross our friendship’s fence, I pray she’ll learn how much I wish I’d doffed My shy concern, and share those eyes so soft – And with this burn, I call on Providence That we may chance discern to glimpse that fabled herd aloft.
For surely must her ’mazement form As pigs come gliding from the west, And may she gape in wonder warm As grunting gammons flock and swarm. Atop the trees, the sows are in the nest. Upon the breeze, the shoats are cherubs blest – Such hogs she sees ! These razorbacks in storm Shall rend her heart’s decrees and forge sublime within her breast.
And ev’ry time their trotters pound For ham-thrust launch, so ardour springs. And ev’ry volant-piglet’s sound Of flapping brings such sighs profound. These airborne swine, these porkers shot from slings, These boars divine, these swooping, free-range kings, Such hope they mine when soaring heaven-bound – These aeronauts porcine shall speed her love on bacon wings.
“Come and let me love you, let me gaze upon your face, Stranded on this lonely isle makes folly of such grace – You shall wear my coronet, to sparkle in their eyes. Naxos is no place for you, but up there in the skies.”
So promised Dionysus unto Ariadne fair As she took his hand in marriage and his crown upon her hair. After all these years marooned, this prison with no bars, A wine-god comes to save her and to place her in the Stars.
Alas, first came Orion with his hounds and bovine foe, Then Perseus and Hercules with entourage in tow, And Booties and the Argo with their own supporting acts Left precious little room up there for third-rate myths and hacks. So only Ari’s crown could then be squeezed between those hunks. The moral: never trust upon the promises of drunks.
We are pit finds. We fill museum drawers – Not that we mind how we crowd your shelves and stores. We excite you, we invite you, With ev’ry coin and bead. So much to learn from tax returns And obscure housing deeds.
The seeker’s pact, if knowledge is your task: – For ev’ry fact, a question more to ask. What tales were told on harsh nights cold ? The telling now is done. So add your choice to our still voice, Your best guess now our tongue.
You bring us back with trowel and expert eye, And patient knack. What gems in this dirt lie ? A piece of pot or leaden shot Or bones or spoil remains. With these effects you resurrect, Unearth us from the plains.
We are heroes of archaeology. Where now grass grows was our society. The soil is sieved on which we lived And which maintains us still. We’re sprinkled through this residue, We feed this grassy hill.
All we achieved now fill the trays of finds. All we believed, extracted from our shrines. Our ritual sites and codes of rites For life after we’re gone. And proof ! For see – in surgeries Our skeletons now hang.
In libraries, our wisdom told and bound – Within these leaves more answers may be found. Reporting news, our journals muse Events which come to pass. What headlines say in press today Are taught in hist’ry class.
We are not dead, as here I write these lines, Yet when they’re read, we lie beneath the vines. And one day too then so will you, Dear Reader, be consumed – And in your turn may others learn From your remains exhumed.
My Latin may be lacking, My Dutch may be unknown, In Thai and Greek I cannot speak, My English stands alone. If I can’t win with Mandarin, I still might cast my a spell – I shall compete with language sweet, And use my English well.
The world goes by on its way to work, Quite happy – well happy enough, anyway – Where poetry books are barely a quirk, So little do they enter the fray Of the working world in its working week To render it a freak to thus See one being read on the bus. With sales so low and style so high, They see no need to try to fathom out Just what some faff-about is trying to say. Those pseudy slims are best ignored By the sensibly-shod of the hurrying horde On a busy and bullshit-less day.
What they need is football, and punk rock, and thrillers, And X-Box, and coffee, and soaps, and painkillers And roses, and downloads, and sheds full of spanners, And gardens with blue tits, and holiday planners, And magazine fashions and diet’ry trends And so many relatives, hook-ups and friends, So is it a wonder they haven’t the time For the nuance of slam or the absence of rhyme ? And the world goes by on its way back home, Too busy for chapbooks of monochrome.
Ev’ry book in the Bible Is the Book of Numbers really, With its chapters and its verses, All ennumerated clearly. And its drop-caps and its sub-heads, And its footnotes full of freight – Now there’s so much ink on its onion-skins, It doubles up the weight !
Is there any reason why A zero should be naught, Except that that is what we’re taught ? But just to wonder, by-the-by, If we could write an oh for ten, And only turn the corner when We reach eleven once agen, And double-digits start. And when we get to twenty, so We’d write it as a one-and-oh. (Perhaps we’ll call it ‘tenteen’, though, To fit the part.) It all works fine till ninety-nine, Then ninety-ten for a hundred dead – With still just two within the bed. But the twins then run to oh-and-one, Till oh-and-oh for a hundred-and-ten, But dammit, we should be triple by then…!