A Most Spirited Turn of Play

Another mixed-result from AI.

A Most Spirited Turn of Play

“Catherine, who had nothing heroic about her, should prefer baseball.”

Northanger Abbey

Cath’rine Morland steps upto the plate,
And ties her bonnet tighter,
Swings her bat in practice, once, twice,
And holds her breath.
On the mount, she stares at Emma Dashwood,
Knuckles growing whiter,
Then turns to Fanny Price on first,
And knows it’s sudden death.
Behind, she hears the rustle come from
Lizzie Bennet’s morning dress,
As Marianna Dashwood stands at shortstop,
Fidgetting about.
And guarding third, Anne Elliot,
Her ringlets in a tangled mess,
From her recent diving catch
That had sent Mr Darcy out.
Now Emma’s winding up her pitch,
And Lizzie gives a little burst –
Intended to distract her –
Most unladylike, she notes.
But she hits the screwball to the Moon,
Flings down her bat, and runs to first –
Only to lose both game and poise
When she trips on her petticoats.

Of course, it’s a not all leisure in Jane Austen’s world…

Cats’ Eyes

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Cats’ Eyes

Life is one long side-quest,
With its sub-plots and distractions –
Existence is the Wild West,
That is claimed by countless factions.

The through-line soon gets lost
Amid the threads of deviations –
For attention has a cost
That must compete with new sensations.

I’ve never been much single-minded,
Far too often getting blinded
By the flash of something new.
I’ve never had much use for blinkers,
Seem to me to just be shrinkers,
Shutting down the field of view.

Wait, what’s that they’re playing ?
Now it’s lodged into my brain…  
Sorry, you were saying…?
Guess I drifted off again…

Consumer Power

Consumer Power

The clothes we wear, the food we try,
The very homes in which we dwell –
No matter how much money, cash is not enough.
The truth is, we can only buy
What someone else will make and sell.
And if we don’t like anything on offer ?  Tough !

Sports Lawns

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Sports Lawns

Mow and roll and mark the lines
To hem the court and pen the pitch
In Summer’s crisp and white designs of old,
To show which end is which.
And who would dare to stray beyond
This canvas where we set our scene ?
We’re safe in here from blade and frond,
On alternating stripes of green.

Catholic Swans

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Catholic Swans

The pair of swans along this stretch this year
Haul ten in tow.
Ten grey balls of hatchlings in a row.
Yet in a month or two, I fear
That only five remain –
As pikes and gulls and foxes thin the strain.

In the past, my ancestors would breed
The same way too –
Investing in the odds to see them through.
Famine and TB could not succeed,
For I am here today –
Yet dread how many died along the way.

For months the swans will teach their young,
But still their numbers drop –
They surely notice what they cannot stop.
Of all the ten that they’ve begun,
Just one or two will fly –
It’s no life for a parent, but they try.

Soil Savants

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Soil Savants

Slime moulds lack brains
But still can get around –
Navigating maps and mazes,
Simple cells yet going places !
Building networks for our trains,
With tunnels through the ground –
Their tendrils stretch and seek and probe,
Across the petri-dish and globe.

Acorn Margins

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Acorn Margins

I’ve heard that oak will make a hedge
If planted it in a row,
But I’ve never seen a single stretch –
Perhaps it’s just too slow.
Or hedgers baulk at pruning oaklings back
To make a wall,
When ev’rything about them says ‘Don’t hack,
But grow me tall.’

A Legacy in Bits

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A Legacy in Bits

Ev’rything I’ve ever written,
Ev’ry poem, ev’ry play,
Are strings of ones and zeros on a flickering display.
Permanently hidden
In a hard-drive or a cloud,
So hard to leave behind for work so proud.
No-one knows my password,
Save my hacker and myself,
Since I never passed it on to someone else.
This security we’ve mastered
Will leave all my work unread –
It might as well be locked-up in my head !

Less Polymath, More Monomath

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Less Polymath, More Monomath

Leo, Leo, heavenly man,
A mathematician who became a priest –
You knew about sin, and cos, and tan,
And the factors of the Number of the Beast.
But you favoured Logos over logic,
Never counting the chromosomes of the Son –
So now you teach a numeric bodge
By claiming one plus one plus one is one.

Habemus Poppycock

Habemus Poppycock

The Pope gave a blessing in Latin,
To a rapt and clueless crowd,
Nodding along like they understood
This showing-off spouted aloud.
He might as well have spoken in Klingon,
To please a handful of nerds –
It would have done just about as much good,
To the un-understanding herds.
Perhaps the Pope is one of those pedants
Who cannot accept things change –
And thinks that holiness is got
From the old, exotic, and strange.
Though maybe he spoke in Latin
So to reach the ears of the Lord –
But does that imply that God is a monoglot,
Stubborn and easily bored ?