Hat Plus One
The football books all said it,
And they wouldn’t make it up –
The more-than-hat-trick scorers
In the world of the World Cup.
Ten were these men of honour,
From ’38 to ’94,
Though mostly pre-the 60s,
In the goalless-less of yore.
Leônidas, Wilimowski,
Wetterström, it said,
Schiaffino, Ademir,
and Kocsis, so it read –
And Just Fontaine was next,
And then Eusébio was last –
And nothing more for twenty years –
Those stars were in the past.
But then, from out of nowhere,
Butragueño made his 4,
And then Oleg Salenko
Made it 5 to up the score.
And this was universal,
It was there in ev’ry book –
But then the list got shaky
When they took another look.
Match reports from early days,
Were sloppy things back then –
No cameras to play it back,
Just notebook and a pen.
So hard luck Leônidas,
You were scored a goal for free,
And likewise poor old Wetterström,
Your storm was only three.
And Schiaffino, even worse,
Was left with just a brace –
And on those all-time scorer lists,
These three leave not a trace.
