The Netherworldly Underground
Are here to keep things flowing –
We’re proud to serve the downward-bound
To get you where you’re going.
The Pearly Gates to Sheol Flyer’s
Very shortly to arrive.
The chartered tour for Angel Choirs
Now departs from Platform 5.
For the Armageddon Sprinter,
Make your way to Platform 6.
For the endless Fimbul Winter,
Take the last train to Apocalypse.
Attention those who head for Hades,
Please take care to spare your blushes –
Carriage F’s reserved for ladies,
Muses, sirens, succubuses.
The overcrowded, overdue
Express to Pandemonium
Must wait a goods train passing through
With waggons of plutonium.
Platform 1: the Nod-Land Sleeper.
Platform 4: the Brimstone Belle.
Passengers for stations deeper,
Take this train, and change in Hell.
The rapid shuttles come and go
From Heaven to Damnation,
While the all-stops Purgatory slow
Has yet to leave the station.