The Polling by William Hogarth


Rock and roll, all voters !
Staunch and floaters, poor and wealthy –
To the hustling hustings jamboree !
Bring the kids and bring the dogs,
Let’s throng with hacks from press and blogs
To jeer the speeches, snap the selfies,
Make them promise jam for tea –
Then talk with wonks and rebel Scots,
And mix with toffs and flat-capped Trots.
Let’s join the jostle and bus the bustle,
And get on down to the hustings hustle.

But it’s never like that these days.
Our candidates are scrambled through
A mesh of endless screens,
That changes all the red to blue
And filters out the golds and greens
Till all that’s left are greys.
They rarely need to meet the public,
Rarely let us have our say –
There’s just too many unelected journos in the way !

No wonder disillusionment is growing –
But no !  That’s what they want of us !
We mustn’t be intimidated by the charging battle-bus.
Don’t be ashamed of floating or don’t-knowing,
Thoughtful contemplation never was a crime –
Just make sure that you make it to the booth on time !
For I don’t care who gets your vote,
As long as someone gets your vote –
Be they protest, status quo, or loony-fringers.
Don’t buy their apathetic spin,
Or else we let the cynics win –
A can’t-be-arsed electorate of impotents and whingers.

For ours is the power, ours the law,
My fellow voters !
We aren’t just humble peasants stood in awe
Before our lords –
We’re citizens – not subjects,
Nor statistics, blips or quotas –
We’re individual voters,
And not meek amorphous hordes.
We’re millions of voices making millions of choices,
With our pencils mightier than any swords.

So roll up, you voters !  Shake a leg !
It’s time to give a damn !  With me !
Let’s make the bloody buggers beg –
Let’s rock this hustings jamboree !

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