The Wiccans are newer than Mormons,
Are older than Jedis,
As ancient as Hubbard and Xenu.
For all that they claim to be Pagans,
They’re Beatniks and Hippies,
And Goths in a green hue.
And that’s all fine,
They’re free to be free –
With crystals and Maypoles and love-spells galore.
But there’s a good reason
They call it all New Age –
There never were witches at Salem, for sure !
So write your magick with a K,
And write your faerie with an E,
And dance around Stonehenge all day –
But you ain’t fooling me.
These magpies of Masons and folklore
Make far more sense
As their Twentieth-Century selves.
The Wiccans belong with the Martians,
From skiffle to hemp-heads –
Suburbanite dreamers and nuclear elves.