Pens Down !

Exam Hall

Pens Down !

For all our tappy-typey lives,
For all the keyboards we must pound,
Still ev’ry Summer there survives
A world of scritchy-scratchy sound:
Ev’ry Summer, ev’ry school,
The wriggly-ragged spiders rule !

It seems we do not think exams
Are punishment enough –
Who cares if they know volts from grams,
Or pantaloons from ruffs ?
Their future jobs lie in the grip
Of under-pressure penmanship !

You know, I reckon if we’re honest,
Few of us could truly claim
Our efforts wouldn’t look the same.
For all they pressed upon us
Their italic script or copperplate,
Calligraphy was not our fate.

To all the pupils suffering
From writer’s cramp and knuckles rapped,
Your talents ever under-tapped –
At least you’re not alone.
To all ex-pupils struggle‘ing
With inky hands that biros give,
Our meanings lost in hieroglyphs –
It’s time that we atone:

It’s keymanship that should be taught,
So crisp upon the pristine page,
With fingers fast as any thought –
It’s time to write the modern age !
For all that pens have served us well,
Let’s end their scribbly-scrawly hell.

Equality

worm s eye of white and black inside basket
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 Equality

There’s a glassy ceiling above me,
Way up the greasy pole
But I’m still down in the basement
Just pence above the dole.
A fraction of us may hammer the ceiling,
Always demand more,
But most of us working stiffs are afraid
Of the rise of the quicksand floor.

Summer Block

clear glass cup with fruits and water inside beside slice fruitas
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Summer Block

Ah, the lazy days of Summer:
Long and languid afternoons,
When cares are short and drinks are tall,
And lives are endless honeymoons.
So who would sweat on metric feet,
To try to pen a tricky rhyme ?
Just close the jotters, pencils down,
And let it go.  It’s not the time.

On such a scorching hummer
When our cares are short and drinks are tall,
And lives are endless honeymoons,
Then no-one thirsts for verse at all.
So let it go, it’s not the time –
Just close the jotters, pencils down.
Our brains would only overheat
If assonance should raise a frown.

On long and languid afternoons,
Just who would sweat on metric feet
When no-one thirsts for verse at all ?
Our brains would only overheat.
Don’t try to pen a tricky rhyme
On such a scorching hummer.
No assonance should raise a frown
On the lazy days of Summer.

Beside the Seaside

Mudskipper
Periophthalmus schlosseri by F A Lucas

Beside the Seaside

Mudskippers: day-trippers,
Walking out along the beach
And paddling in the foam.

Mudskippers: toe-dippers,
See how far they dare to reach
From out their briny home.

They love to breathe the ozone airs,
And dig their castles in the sand –
Between the waves and folding chairs,
They comb their shingled strand.

Mudskippers: tide-rippers,
Love to surf the wash and breakers,
But a wipe-out leaves them drowned.

Mudskippers: land-shippers,
Masters of their seafront acres:
Beached, but never run aground.

The Last Post

architecture box brick wall city
Photo by Rhys James on Pexels.com

The Last Post

You used to be the kings of dawn,
Who brought us word from far beyond.
My friends, your greatest time is gone,
However much we’re fond.

You used to cause the heart to spring –
The letterbox’s breakfast clunk.
Alas, now most of what you bring
Is soul-destroying junk.

And all the parcels we still get ?
It’s never you nor Santa’s elves –
For all those gifts of internet
Will simply send themselves.

Alas, no more for Postmen Pat –
We must admit, you’re future’s frail.
Just keep you on through guilt ?  Why, that’s
The blackest kind of mail.

Falling Standards

abstract architecture attractive background
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Falling Standards

I know a modern architect who really loves his jazz.
The hypocrite ! Still clinging to his Monk and Duke and Chas !
The music of the moment is the only sort allowed –
Hip-hop, pop, and drum & bass – played endlessly and loud.
For any newly-written jazz is just a quaint pastiche,
So councillors and plutocrats must keep it on a leash.
Keep it stark and minimal, without such syncopation –
For finely-crafted solos are just needless decoration.
And as for old recordings – don’t restore them, but adapt:
Saxophones now synthesized, and melodies now rapped.
Drum machines inserted, so’s to tell the new from old –
Gut ’em out and fit ’em up – it’s brutal, brash and bold !
We’ll wipe the records clean to make the space for noises new,
For songs are just machines for lis’ning to.

St Random’s Day

appointment black calendar countdown
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

St Random’s Day

The 6th of June is ev’rywhere, it seems,
It turns up all the year.
This av’rage day has gained the fate
Of ev’rybody’s av’rage date.
The 6th of June has crept into my dreams,
The Swedes have whispered in my ear –
Or maybe D-Day’s up to tricks ?,
Or the Devil claimed oh-six-oh-six ?

I guess we each of us have such a day,
For tripping-over, bric-a-brac finds –
It pings our sonar, winks our eye,
And scores us another proof, we cry !
So patternless-patterns will work their way
Into the slots at the back our minds –
We know they’re wrong, but still they fix,
Just random rolls of double six.

Reflected Glory

Paparazzi
Paparazzi Celebrity 1 by Backdrops Beautiful

 Reflected Glory

We can always wish
For your easy charm,
And your good right arm,
And your follow through.
We can always wish
To be just like you –
And we always do,
For it does no harm.

And who wouldn’t want
To have fun like that,
Or to run like that,
Or to ride or to drive,
Or arrive like that –
And who wouldn’t want
To excite like you,
Or to fight like you,
Or to think or to gaze,
Or to blaze like you.

And who wouldn’t want to,
Who wouldn’t want
To be just like you
And the dreams you flaunt ?


We can always wish
For your matchless skill,
For your carefree thrill,
And your tried and true.
We can always wish
To be just like you –
And we always do,
Yet we never will.

For we shall never get
To attract like that,
Or to act like that,
Or to play or to sing,
Or to swing like that –
And we shall never get
To romance like you,
Or to dance like you,
Or to live or to dine,
Or to shine like you.

And we never shall get to,
We never shall get
To be just like you,
But we’re dreaming yet.

The Bard & I

From Classical Comic’s translation of Macbeth, illustrated by Jon Haward.

The Bard & I

Ah Will, we were not meant for one another,
For ours is not a marriage of the minds.
What can I say, my literary brother ?
We’re poets both, but very diff’rent kinds.
So yours the fame and wealth and adulation,
And mine the anonymity and debt –
But then again, we glean our exhortation
From very diff’rent mistresses, I bet !
For I could never write your verse, nor wish to –
And you, I’m sure, could never capture mine.
So you be Zeus, and I shall try for Vishnu –
And keep my metre dry, and hold the line.
And if some day I reach your heady skill –
I’ll have the way – but always lack the will.

This poem was kindly accepted in the Spring 2025 edition of WestWard Quarterly.

Concerning the left panel at the top, are we to believe that an exhausted and demoralised man-of-action such as the Seargeant (who is apparently suffering a head wound) would really speechify and wax lyrical ?  To the point, man !