Innocent spiders close down schools When ignorant humans panic. Why the hell are we so prepared To see them as Satanic ? We wonder why our schools are broke, And all our nerves are fried – Yet choose which phobias we’ll stoke, And wear our hates with pride – It only takes the merest sight To send us shrieking with delight. Our fears are learned, and screeching Just ain’t what our schools should teach in.
Far, far better we learn to love The harmless ones, at least – Let our babies play with monies, Let our kids embrace the beast. Rearing spinners out of eggs, And never let the wolves repulse – Daddy, bring a daddy-longlegs, Mama, bring a widow-false – Or better yet, we should be shown To watch awhile, then leave alone. And maybe then, here’s hoping, Then the schools can all stay open.
Dammerung Dasching: A girl with one hell of a heck of a name ! It’s hardly her fault, of course, She didn’t choose it – Her thunderbolt handle is barely her blame – In fact, it’s absurd, But her parents once heard Of the power a moniker has on its wearer, And children so labelled Were feted and fabled, Endorsing their promise upon their proud bearer. And so she became An incentive for fame, Did Dammerung Dasching – the girl in the frame. For nobody ordin’ry gets to be called that – She’s in for a lifetime of being enthralled-at It’s hardly her fault, of course, She didn’t choose it, But hers is the force, And she cannot refuse it. The muses are summoned, The devils the same: Now they are the players and she is the game – With a flash and a flame From a passionate dame, She’s Dammerung Dasching – the girl with the name.
“Ever since Robert Newton played Long John Silver in 1950, pirates have all spoken with the same accent.”
– The Dorchester Echo
Curse ye, Robbie Newton ! Curse yer lily-lubbered hide ! For thanks to ye, all pirates be The yokels o’ the crimson sea ! We used-a hail from Luton, Or Nidderdale, or Morningside – But now it’s said we’re born an’ bred In Lynmouth, Lyme an’ Lizard Head.
From the Needle to the Scilly, Round the Bill and up Goonhilly, Fowey to Zoyland, thar we blow From Durdle Door to Westward Ho !
Ye scurvy-livered, timber-shivered blaggard, Robbie Newton ! Ye turned us to a joke, to a’ the folk that we be lootin’ ! Ye’d have us be a parody o’ bushy-bearded mutiny, A pantomime upon the sea, jus’ pussycats freebootin’ – We should be briny soldiers, but who could fear our bands Wi’ these parrots on our shoulders and these hooks upon our hands ? Ye’ve decked us in a strange disguise, wi’ peggy-leg an’ lock-o’-dread, An’ always wi’ the patchy-eyes fore’er a-lookin’ ’skance. We used-a be the buccaneers o’ Buckin’ham an’ Birkenhead, But now we’re jus’ the poxy-pillaged pirates o’ Penzance.
From Portishead to Plymouth Hoe, We’ll drag yer name to ten below. From Brizzle Dock to Davey Jones, We curse your skull an’ cross your bones !
Sorry, I can’t find any details about the artist. And it doesn’t directly realte to the poem, and the girl depicted is older…but it’s just too cool not to.
Little Miss Pinball
I know a young lady named Scatterfoot Sadie Who cannot sit still for a second – She hustles and bustles and flexes her muscles, And scuttles whenever she’s beckoned. Perhaps all her fidgets in feet, knees and digits Are gyroscopes keeping her poise – Or maybe it serves as a mask for her nerves With her tremors all lost in the noise.
Here she comes Sadie, she buzzes and hums, As she zig-zags from thither to yon. Here she comes Sadie, and Sadie she comes, And Sadie she goes, and she’s gone.
I know a young petal who never does settle, Since bouncing in booties and bonnet. I know a young rhino who wears out the lino By clomping and pomping upon it. I know a pied piper who’s more than just hyper – She’s mega and giga and terra. She’s magnitudes faster, with energies vaster In both her success and her error.
Here she comes Sadie, with whistles and drums, Both skylark and trumpeter swan. Here she comes Sadie, and Sadie she comes, And Sadie she goes, and she’s gone.
I know a young poppet who just cannot stop it, And never has recourse to brake. With swings and trapezes, she’s blown on the breezes, And whips up the wind in her wake. There’s some folk who mention her roving attention That points to some point of attraction, And some folk who think that’s she’s too scared to blink Just in case she should miss any action.
Here she comes Sadie, all peaches and plums, As her sweetness must sugar-rush on. Here she comes Sadie, and Sadie she comes, And Sadie she goes, and she’s gone.
I know a young girl who is always a-whirl, Like her timbers are tossed on the ocean – She dashes and darts as she stutters and starts, And when even at rest, she’s in motion. Her larynx is thrumming, her fingers are drumming, Her eyeballs are to-ing and fro-ing – Her atoms are spinning, her neurons are singing, Her bramble-patch hair-thatch is growing.
Here she comes Sadie, all fingers and thumbs, As she fiddles and tinkers anon. Here she comes Sadie, and Sadie she comes, And Sadie she goes, and she’s gone.
I know a young missy who’s terribly busy Upon some endeavour or other – Her hoardings and strewings and feverish doings Are lost upon even her mother. She’s so all-commanding she just leaves us standing, Awash in the glow of her starlet – For we who are left are the warp and the weft All throughout which she’s threading her scarlet.
Here she comes Sadie, dispelling the glums – She dazzles where sunlight is shone. Here she comes Sadie, and Sadie she comes, And Sadie she goes, and she’s gone.
Some worms are roundworms and some worms are flat, Some worms are skinny and some worms are fat, Some worms are stripy and some worms are brown, Some dress in velvet and some sport a crown, Some feed on slurry and some feed on nuts, Some live in gardens and some live in guts.
Some worms are serpents and some worms are bugs, Some worms are dragons and some worms are slugs, Some worms are speedy and some worms are slow, Some worms are eyeless and some worms can glow. Some on the surface and some underground, Some worms are flatworms and some worms are round.
The king awoke one morning And he couldn’t find his crown, So he rang out for his footman To bring forth his ermine gown, Then ordered for the palace To be hunted upside down – And if it were still missing, To send men upon the town.
His reason for such urgency Was really very plain, That if the king is crownless, Then he rule goes down the drain – For if he stands bareheaded How will peasants know his reign ? A king without a coronet Is thoroughly mundane.
Fetch it ! Find it ! Capture it and mind it ! All your heads are bloody shreds If someone has maligned it !
The soldiers rummaged ev’ry house, And prodded ev’ry nook. They barged upon the merchantfolk, And half their wares they shook Incase the prize was hid within, Exposing crown and crook. And if it weren’t, the goods were wrecked, So clumsy was their look.
They burst upon the womenfolk In most ungentle ways – Their conduct was improper, And their language coarse of phrase. They entered ev’ry schoolroom, Ev’ry salon, mill and maze. But still it was not gainedfast, And the town was all ablaze.
Search it ! Seek it ! Plunder it and wreak it ! All your eyes are filling pies If somebody should sneak it !
The aldermen and dowagers Were startled and incensed. These worthies sought an audience, Their grievances dispensed – But found the King uncaring Of the tumult he’d commenced. They left with bitter passion For the town to stand against –
“His majesty can issue Any ruling or decree, But that is all as naught to us Who choose to disagree. It’s time for him to realise He’s just our employee, And if we are unsatisfied, It’s time to set him free.”
Pounce him ! Pry him ! Prison him and try him ! All our souls regain controls If ev’ryone deny him !
The king awoke one morning With his royal head uncrowned. He spent that very evening In cells of harsh surround. He never understood it, How his luck could so confound. His coronet, in passing, Was to never be refound.
Hey, have you heard the news ? It turns out ev’ry single bird, From ducks to crows to cockatoos, Is really just a dinosaur ! I bet you never knew before ! Oh, I guess you’ve heard…
Well, of course you have, I guess… We all have – hey, we ain’t naive. Some facts, it seems, we all possess, They’re quotes that ev’rybody knows – Apparently, it’s one of those, Like, ‘sharks must swim to breathe’.
Like how Brazil and Timbuktoo Have split apart and drifted. The jigsaw that’s too-good for true, Is really true ! And the world is round, In space our screams won’t make a sound, And the stars have slowly shifted.
Or how without a pinch of salt, We’d all be quickly dead. But sodium and chlorine halt Our welfare quicker, if we dined On each alone – but when combined, We’re kept alive instead.
We know all this, we’ve known for years – It’s just some stuff we know. It’s been so long between our ears, We’ve let it grow mundane – If we forgot and learned again, Our minds would surely blow.
But hey, not ev’rybody knows, We all had to be told. So someone had to first disclose That farting fungus rises bread, Or knocking protons out of lead Will turn it into gold.
So someone has to spread the word, And we could be the ones ! For someone, somewhere hasn’t heard, And we could get to cast the spell, And see their wonder as we tell Of how we’re made from suns !
What on earth does Philip write Within his purple notebook, lined ? What on earth does he record When fascinated, moved or bored ? What scribbles he both day and night ? What wisdom gleaned ? What knowledge mined ? What does he with his pen engage Upon the ruled and virgin page ?
What on earth does Philip cite ? What theories turned ? What views opined ? Bless this ink that interweaves The world and all between the leaves. So happy he whose days are bright With words to muse and thoughts to find – Shining life, a jewellèd crown, With endless things worth noting down.
Rhyming Couplets 