Never Three on a Card

Herry Christmas, AI, from some of the reddest redbreasts I’ve ever seen.

Never Three on a Card

Every Christmas, I get a warm glow
From a handful of cards with the robins’ hello –
They’re sometimes alone, and they’re sometimes a pair,
But a third one is nowhere – cos as we all know
A flock of the robins is strictly no-go.
But what is this latest the postladies bear ?
One robin, two robins, three robins…?  Whoa…!
But how can the senders so brazenly dare ?,
Depicting the moment before the first blow –
As the beak and the claw will leave no love to spare,
As they battle to mate and to overthrow.
But no !  They swear they’ve taken care
To only show what’s really there.
In Winter, it seems, the robins bestow
A happier temper, content to share –
For outside of breeding, they treat all fair,
And frolic together in goodwill and snow.

Stonewyrms

Shadow Pterosaur Creature Concept by Amy Cornelson

Stonewyrms

The dragons flew to the village
When the glaciers receeded.
Before the humans came to found the village
In the hills
They all moved up the valley
As the valley slowly heated –
A conflict scratched by ancient claws
And knapped by stone-age skills.

The dragons lived on cliff-tops,
Where they found the up-draughts bracing,
And yet up here upon the fells, the scarp
Was ev’ry bit as steep
The humans sought the uplands
For protection and for grazing,
With their wooded winding valleys
And their moorlands full of sheep.

But the dragons had a taste for mutton,
Raiding flocks and rustling folds –
While the humans found the lizards rich,
And slow when on their shanks.
So they hunted ev’ry dragon
That came sniffing round their barren holds,
And they feasted on their breastmeat
And they tanned their wings and flanks.

But down in the valley woodlands,
Where the dragons couldn’t grace,
So the tribes would coppice trees for fuel,
As soon as the saplings bend.
But the deer were a constant nuisance
As they trampled through the place,
And they nibbled the shoots at liberty,
Refusing to be penned.

But Evolution played her hand,
Ten thousand years or more,
As she favoured drakes who favoured deer,
Whose does were scarce in dearth.
And the humans were quite happy
If they thinned the herds a score,
And all stayed-away from pastures
And gave folks a wider berth.

So into the flightless forests they came,
Where the trees would crowd the sky,
And they stalked the stags upon all-fours,
Or scampered up a tree.
And their back legs grew more sturdy
With a pouncing, kicking thigh,
And their wings were less-times called-upon
Beneath the canopy.

Yes, they still would glide above the valley,
Though they rarely soared,
As they rode upon the thermals
And they roosted on the scarp.
Their flaplings, once they’d left the nest
Would gather in a horde,
And would chase the rodents round the barns
To keep their talons sharp.

The farmers even reckoned
They had not the strength to leave,
Now their flying was more like that of a hen
Than of a lark.
Good enough to get them airborne,
Good enough to catch the breeze,
But no good for migrating
Once the days were getting dark.

Neither side were loners,
In their small communities,
As they looked-after their own,
And yet would not harass the strays.
And they’d sometimes come-together
In those opportunities
For the curious on both sides
To regard their neighbours’ ways.

So by the Middle Ages,
They had reached a careful dance,
Where the humans let them hunt for rats and deer,
By nature’s law.
And yes, the windows in the church
Showed George’s famous stance,
Yet those self-same beasts proved lucrative
When pilgrims watched in awe.

The Crocks

Photo by Sanketh Rao on Pexels.com

The Crocks

As Plato says, the perfect plate
Is in the Cupboard in the Sky –
Whereas, the china made of late
Is rather less than meets the eye.

And that’s because, as Plato says,
They’re all reflections, second-hand –
The perfect plate, we have to guess,
Is more than we can understand.

So is it bone or porcelaine ?
And just how deep, and just how wide ?
And round or square ?  And striped or plain ?
And is it scalloped round the side ?

Yet plates for boats or finger buffets
Have a diff’rent set of needs –
And no one plate can be enough,
For each one fails, and each succeeds.

And good luck getting customers
To all agree on which is best –
For what one hates, their twin prefers,
And ev’ry taste must be addressed.

Plato thought the perfect plate
Was out there, where the angels eat.
But surely any tool is great
That holds our food up nice and neat ?

Of course, the concept of ‘perfect‘ is as childish as the concept of ‘infinity’.

The Hottest Place in Town

The AI has instructed us to be there by 41PM sharp…

The Hottest Place in Town

I guess that Hell looks best at Halloween –
When demons dress-up extra ghoulish,
Trickster gods act extra foolish,
And Pandemonium puts on the best night ever seen.
Pluto lights the Styx up with Dawali candles floating by,
Where the Siren and Cthulu sings duets to Valkyries on high,
And Zarathustra and Confucius let the punchlines fly.
While Sedna twirls the Fairy Queen,
And Yetis smirk as Mummies preen,
Till it all ends with the fireworks, loud enough to hear in Fiddlers Green.
The only ones not round the fire
Are Gabriel and his Angel Choir,
Whose harmonies, so pure and strong,
Would silence Hades with a song.
Alas, they’ll keep us waiting long…
But Hell still looks a treat tonight,
So full of love and wishing –
A pity Jesus took to fright,
He don’t know what he’s missing !

Diabolical Appropriation

Photo by Heber Vazquez on Pexels.com

Diabolical Appropriation

Ev’ry Halloween,
While I’m getting gory and undead
For just one night,
I always play a little game –
Ever since a teen,
While sat before the mirror, faking dread,
I take delight
In picturing all Hell the same –

It isn’t such a kink,
But I feel I ought to ’fess-up –
How I always love to think
That the demons love to dress-up
In their costumes made of discount shirts,
With crooked ties and polished shoes,
And glasses fit for introverts,
And parted hair, and no tattoos

Ev’ry Halloween,
Do they spend the night pretending, posing,
To be us,
Just as we, tonight, aspire to be them –
So, if they are seen,
I really want to be try befriending those
Who copy us –
Because I guess they must admire us then…

Demons jostling on the trains,
With blinking phones and leaking pop,
And zig-zagging through mopey rains,
And queuing at the coffee shop.
In costumes made of good-enough,
And needs-a-press, and if-I-must –
Just demons that I love to love
As trying to be one of us.

Plastic Horns

Photo by Ksenia Chernaya on Pexels.com

Plastic Horns

Evil isn’t the Devil,
Isn’t the psycho,
Isn’t the neo-fascist –
Evil isn’t our darkest nature,
Lurking silent in our midst.
For evil is our lazy thinking,
Seeking-out a covert plan –
And evil is our pointing finger,
Evil is our bogeyman.

Evil isn’t the Devil,
Isn’t a something,
Isn’t an absolute.
It’s simply things we hate, writ large –
Hyperbole that birthed a brute.
For evil triumphs when the good do nothing new,
So tropes persist –
For the greatest trick the Devil pulled,
Was just to not exist.

Lesson

Sermon on the Mount by Jim Collins

Lesson

I say unto you, not just he who kills,
Shall go to Hell.
But also he who harbours anger,
Even for a spell.
Call a man a fool, and that’s enough
For punishment eternal.
Likewise, give your cloak away,
Or face the flames infernal.
Lust after a women,
Even one who welcomes your attention,
And that lust is equal to adultery,
And Hell-detention.
An eye for an eye still stands,
But turn the other cheek for free –
Then pluck-out your eye and cut-off your hand
In macho purity.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
Unless you break the rules –
And then you’ll find no jot or tittle’s peace from God,
Ye fools !

Fall Back

Mystery of Time by Robert Zietara

Fall Back

The clocks are haunting Daylight Savings,
Goading us to stay in bed –
In late October, ancient cravings
Rear their bureaucratic head.
We skirt with time, we loop the sands,
Rewind once more the ancient rite –
We must perform the dance of hands
Upon the face of waning light.

The past is haunting Daylight Savings,
Logic lost to undead rules.
In late October, we’re the playthings
Of the limbo hour of fools.
We flirt with time, yet so habitual,
Barely offer an excuse –
We must perform the sacred ritual,
Stop all Hell from breaking loose.

Puzzle-Passageways

Relativity by Maurits Escher

Puzzle-Passageways

The trouble with a labyrinth,
Is that it feels so foreign –
Is that it has no logic
To its endless winding paths.
No hierarchy separating
Avenues from warrens,
As we trudge the many mazes
On our lost and aching calves.

Our only means of finding out
The route into the centre
Is by choosing random tracks
And by try-and-try-again –
With a dozen unsigned junctions
And a dozen doors to enter,
To a dozen cul-de-sacs,
And a single golden lane.

It makes sense in a dungeon,
With its safety-at-all-cost,
Or even on a garden,
Where the mapless lovers sally –
But why are city planners
Quite so keen to get us lost ?
Or to meet a Minotaur
Down a twisty, unlit alley…?

Infernal Inferno

Paradise by Gustave Doré

        Infernal Inferno

Best be wary
Of Dante Alighieri,
Whose hellish depiction
Is turgid fan-fiction –
Trekking round each Circle
With Mary-Sue Virgil,
While snarking in the sleaze
Of revenge fantasies.

Strange how the Church
Has bought-up all his merch,
And turned this random blogger
Into Pope-approved-of dogma.
But worst of all, is any fool
Who has to labour-through at school,
Just hoping for a joke or three
Within his so-called Comedy.

No wait, don’t hate,
Don’t follow the gate
That tells us “Nope,
Abandon all hope !”

My anger is alive
In Circle number Five –
But no, I must not dwell
In this self-made Hell.

For Hell is more feeble –
It’s simply other people
With whom we disagree,
Like Dante is for me.
But to be more analytic,
Then Hell is just a critic
Complaining for eternity –
Don’t let that carping voice be me…