Brook Street Jam

Brook Street Jam

A statue of two men – one plays a harpsichord,
The other one leans as he noodles a guitar.
His lead, I notice, is plugged-into the keyboard,
His fingers on the neck in a c-sharp bar.
Two blokes lost in the moment, forever –
George with his collar loosened at the throat,
With multiple strings of borrowed beads,
And his arms pulled-out from the sleeves of his coat.
Jimi, meanwhile, has hitched-up his kaftan on one side,
To access the pocket of his jeans –
With a periwig perched atop his wild hair,
And purple boots (though the colour can’t be seen).
A little-bit larger than life-size, of course,
But with no cordon or pedestal here –
So easy, so pleasing, to reach out and touch them –
The impossible past has never felt so near !
The people like to pose and the pigeons like to perch,
And the verdigris and lichen are a psychedelic stain.
No plaque or explanation – we know who they are,
As they’re basked in the sun and they’re washed in the rain.
Their eyes are open, but surely unseeing,
Pointing at the keys or looking at the sky –
Communing with their muse, as if she is their singer,
To an audience of shoppers who hurry on by.
One wonders what they might ever have talked about,
Between the numbers, on languid nights –
With George very much the establishment man,
And Jimi outspoken on civil rights.
From diff’rent eras and diff’rent generations,
Baroque versus blues – yet they’re finding a way –
The statue, of course, is eternally silent,
And leaves it to the viewer to hear what they play.

In truth, Jimi only lived in the flat three months, but it’s still tempting to wonder what they might have said if a mixture of time travel and hallucinogens had brought them together. Both immigrants, both musicians, but there the comparisons pretty much end. Yet sometimes, it’s worth finding some common ground for the sake of a good tune...

A.I. Housman

Threshold by Matt Dixon

A.I. Housman

Oh, that were I a-one to live
To witness steam alive with thought –
So pleased with all the help they’ll give,
And in return they’ll ask for naught.

How clever might this new world be,
When engines have production’s means ?
Will there still be a place for me
When rhyme is written by machines ?

But how can pistons dream of Spring,
Or iron flywheels turn a phrase ?
What ballads shall the whistles sing ?
Upon what sights shall eye-bolts gaze ?

And yet…and yet, the future has
Eternity to get things right –
Today is cloudy still – whereas,
Tomorrow shall be clear and bright.

The poetry of rod and gear
May yet come into ev’ry home.
But let them come – I do not fear
Another writer – flesh or chrome !

I’d shake my metal colleague’s hand –
Though I am years too soon, alack !
Yet one day, when they understand,
I hope they’ll smile, and greet me back.

The Bootymen’s Air

Beneath the Waves – Garden of Buried Hopes by Nightblue-Art

The Bootymen’s Air

There is, it’s said, a pirate ship
That haunts the Caribbean.
Or does she sail the Orient,
Or pilot the Aegean ?
Was ever there a stranger craft
On which men went to sea on ?

No-one seems to know her name,
For all she rides the swell.
Some say she’s The Banshee,
Some The Siren, some The Belle,
Perhaps there’s plenty meet with her,
But none who live to tell.

Yet one fact all agree on,
Is you hear her when she nears,
By a slow and lonely singing
That the ozone brings our ears –
And a world away from the racket
Of the usual pirate jeers.

They claim that it’s her figurehead
Who keens upon the waves –
That is, it is the ship herself
And not her crew of knaves,
As she bares down on the helpless souls
And sings them to their graves.

But eerier yet, her voice, they say,
Will echo off the sea,
And bounce upon the clouds and back
While the breeze blows in her key,
She sounds from all directions,
And in perfect harmony.

So if you ever catch a snatch
Of ghostly murmurings,
And if your hold is full of coin
And fingers full of rings –
Then pray it’s just the whistling wind,
And not the ship who sings.

The Groaning Trencher

from a listing on AliExpress

The Groaning Trencher

Sometimes, falls the Burns Night on the number two New Moon,
That will open the cacoon of a brand New Year –
So the neeps and cock-a-leekie get to share the serving spoon
As the beansprouts and the riceballs soon appear.
From the docks of old Kowloon to the mists of Brigadoon,
So it all goes in the haggis, and the bamboo pipes the tune –
As we all sup down together, from New Scotland Yard to Scone,
In a typhoon of lampoons and tartan cheer.
Now maybe I am nothing but a Sassenach poltroon,
From the billabongs of Perth, and through the snows of Saskatoon –
But a shortbread in my green tea on a global afternoon,
And the paddy-fields of glens are very near.

Can I just say what a wonderfully weird experience it is to hear someone read Address to the Haggis in an unapologetically RP accent ?

Mrs Silver

The Lost Portrait of Kitty by dangerliesbeforeyou

Mrs Silver

Back in the days he had two legs,
I’m sure young John was quite the catch –
A sailor seeking fortune
And a plucky wife who was his match.

Step-forward our unnamed heroine,
A negress perfectly at home
As landlady of The Spyglass
While her hubby’s on the roaring foam.

He promises to heave-to by the hearth,
And tend to Captain Flint.
But is she happier to see
Adventure re-ignite his glint ?

I wonder what her story is,
To wash ashore in Bristol Town ?
Then selling-up, and sailing who-knows-where
To rendezvous, or drown.

Read by Hereward

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

The Establishment honours one of its own…

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

Through the village of Longbourn, the undead shuffle,
The unemployed and the destitutes.
The Luddites who moan in a rustic muffle,
Back from Napoleon without any boots.
Mr Bennett says he can’t even hear them,
So alien is his world to theirs,
But they’re getting restless, threatening mayhem –
What if it spreads to the staff downstairs ?
Don’t worry, Lizzie, here’s bold Mr Darcy
With wealth that’s been stripped from the backs of the poor,
He knows how to whip should the rabble gets arsey,
And put them back down when they dare ask for more.
Crush all their groups, and deport the whole crew,
This seething horde of the unwashed masses.
Best wipe them all out like befell Peterloo –
Or the balls overrun with these jumped-up lasses.

When not ignoring the cruelty of the upper classes, Jane Austen liked to describe them at leisure over here.

A Meal For One

Still Life with a Wicker Bottle by Carlo Magini

A Meal For One

“The condemned’s last meal is the ultimate dining-in experience”

– Judge Janus Jeremiah

After months of bread and gruel,
At last, a dish to whet my lips !
But oh, to bring it now is cruel –
I’d rather lard and apple pips.

A final meal is offered up,
A host to help assuage your guilt,
It seems so civilised, to sup
Before the ritual blood is spilt.

And all the while, with ev’ry bite,
The butcher’s hungry blade shall wait –
I am your fatted calf tonight,
Just like this one upon my plate.

All these calories I’ve chewed,
And yet so little time remains –
It’s such a waste of decent food,
You should have brought me simple grains.

Next-Jen

Jenny von Westphalen & Jenny Lind (both born Johanna). Presumably their J’s were soft.

Next-Jen

Women have answered to ‘Jenny’ far longer than ‘Jennifer’,
Whether they’re maidens or maids –
A pet form of Janet, Joanna, or even of wrens,
She’s really a jack-of-all-trades.
Old English had a few Jinifers, sure,
But those weren’t Guiniveres, those were Junipers –
Then, from nowhere, Jennifer came –
From Cornwall, and from a parallel universe.

As the Twentieth Century progressed,
The Jennies were pressed into service
And switched their allegiance to Jennifer only,
And rode her success to over-abundance –
Then into the downward curve of redundancy,
No longer heroines, neighbours, or queens –
But surely we’ll always remember the Jennies,
As donkeys, or greenteeth, or spinning machines.

I’ve discussed the unexpected rise of Jennifer over here.

Lazy Art

The Master’s Studio by Cesar Santos

Lazy Art

The Impressionists, they started it –
The deliberate eschewing of the details of the waterlilies,
Slapping on the sunflowers, slacking and half-arsing it,
The barmaid blurred by beer-goggles, shorn of intimates and frillies.
The Modernists just loved the concept,
Loved the new permissiveness to never bother with the hard parts,
Far too busy writing manifestos, or just overslept,
To ever stoop to spend the years to learn the graft behind the arts.
Ah, I guess they have their fans, these Abstract-ists of vapour –
And not just money-launderers or the Commie-fighting CIA –
Some might look alright in advertising, or as wallpaper,
When tossed-off in an afternoon of dribbles, nudes, and squelching clay.
But then, the public never get to choose who shall be fruitful,
Because we must take whichever trends the critics shall annoint.
It’s just…I want my art as something rare and something beautiful,
And not a random find, or shocking ugly, just to make a point.

Oak Apple Day

parasitic tree lurker
Oak Apple Gall Wasp by Milan Zubrick

Oak Apple Day

Little wasp, little wasp,
Laying eggs upon the tree –
Sting the one who would be king,
And sting him once again for me.
Little worm, little worm,
Wriggling in your swollen gall –
Bite the one who’s cowering,
And bite him twice for one and all.

But oh !, you’ve gone and birthed a hornet,
Let loose on us worker bees –
And king or queen, or brutal drone,
They sting the same – just ask the trees !
To rid us of a coronet
Will always leave behind a gall.
The buttocks mould to fit the throne –
The canker ripens, warts and all.